"Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive."
-Walter Scott
-Walter Scott
Everyone lies. We've all been lying since we could form our own thoughts. Little lies and big lies. Lying is so normal, that choosing to be authentic will make you feel like a freak.
But, I'm not here today to talk about who's lying to who. I'm here to open your eyes to the lies you're telling yourself.
But, I'm not here today to talk about who's lying to who. I'm here to open your eyes to the lies you're telling yourself.
What's your big lie?
I polled my Facebook followers this week and asked the question "What lie have you told yourself?" And honestly, there weren't very many responses. I didn't expect there to be. Because many people have been lying to themselves for so long, that they believe everything they've told themself. The responses I did get ranged from "I'm not an athlete" to "I can't do something I really want to do" and "He wasn't cheating on me"...
I've lied to myself too. I've told myself I wouldn't get certain work in my field because I'm a female in my 40's. I've told myself I don't belong in certain professional circles. I've told myself that personal family issues weren't that bad and would resolve themselves. I've told myself that there's nothing I can do about my poor genetics, and that's just the way I am. I could go on, but you get the point.
We all do it. We tell ourselves big lies and hundreds of little lies.
I've lied to myself too. I've told myself I wouldn't get certain work in my field because I'm a female in my 40's. I've told myself I don't belong in certain professional circles. I've told myself that personal family issues weren't that bad and would resolve themselves. I've told myself that there's nothing I can do about my poor genetics, and that's just the way I am. I could go on, but you get the point.
We all do it. We tell ourselves big lies and hundreds of little lies.
Interrogate yourself
In order to get out of the web of lies you've created, you have to be tough on yourself.
Grill yourself like you would if you knew your someone was lying to you.
You're not going to own your lies at first, so you're going to have to keep interrogating yourself until you get to the truth. This requires a level of humility that gets uncomfortable. You may feel silly or like an idiot. I've been there. I get it. I was the enabler of an addict, so trust me when I say that I know what it's like to lie to myself daily about something very serious. Things changed for me when I started to question myself like I'd question a person lying to me...
"Is that REALLY true, Melanie?"
"Is that REALLY the best you can do, Melanie?"
Grill yourself like you would if you knew your someone was lying to you.
You're not going to own your lies at first, so you're going to have to keep interrogating yourself until you get to the truth. This requires a level of humility that gets uncomfortable. You may feel silly or like an idiot. I've been there. I get it. I was the enabler of an addict, so trust me when I say that I know what it's like to lie to myself daily about something very serious. Things changed for me when I started to question myself like I'd question a person lying to me...
"Is that REALLY true, Melanie?"
"Is that REALLY the best you can do, Melanie?"
What's on the other side?
Truth. Freedom. Relief. Action.
The truth will set you free so that you can confidently go in the direction you were meant to all along.
OR...
Keep telling yourself that there's nothing you can do about your poor health. Or tell yourself, F my genetics, I'm finding a way to better health!
Keep telling yourself that your loved one's just going through a partying phase. Or face the fact that they need help you can't give them.
Keep telling yourself that you could never do that 10 mile hike on that beautiful mountain out west. Or get up every morning and workout to get strong enough to endure that hike.
Keep telling yourself that you're too old or too young for the career you want. Or figure out who you need to help guide you toward the career you want.
Keep telling yourself that you're not good enough. Or FIND A WAY TO BE GREAT!
The truth will set you free so that you can confidently go in the direction you were meant to all along.
OR...
Keep telling yourself that there's nothing you can do about your poor health. Or tell yourself, F my genetics, I'm finding a way to better health!
Keep telling yourself that your loved one's just going through a partying phase. Or face the fact that they need help you can't give them.
Keep telling yourself that you could never do that 10 mile hike on that beautiful mountain out west. Or get up every morning and workout to get strong enough to endure that hike.
Keep telling yourself that you're too old or too young for the career you want. Or figure out who you need to help guide you toward the career you want.
Keep telling yourself that you're not good enough. Or FIND A WAY TO BE GREAT!
It all starts in your mind
By now, you've probably realized you're a liar and that you're the problem. Humbled? Good.
Now, the work starts. Free yourself from the lies and begin to act on the truth. When you do this, your health, career, personal life will all be in your control.
But don't get too comfortable, because you're always going to have a propensity to lie to yourself.
The trick is to catch yourself as soon as it happens and change the story before it goes too far.
Good luck!
Now, the work starts. Free yourself from the lies and begin to act on the truth. When you do this, your health, career, personal life will all be in your control.
But don't get too comfortable, because you're always going to have a propensity to lie to yourself.
The trick is to catch yourself as soon as it happens and change the story before it goes too far.
Good luck!
